|A rainbow is a projection of light through water droplets|
Self esteem is often acquired as a child from the opinions of others. We see ourselves as a projection of our parents approval. Thus, if my parents approve, I am good. In the dating years, we can’t help but place value on the reaction of our beloved to the projection of our self. In both cases, the projection is not the true self. Our parents approval projects to us a level of competency just above where we currently are which makes us think that where we are is not good enough. Our beloved’s approval is based on what parts of our self we choose to reveal. The beloved may or may not value what we reveal. We take a risk in revealing and then are crushed by the rejection that often happens.
True self esteem is just as it says esteem of self. It cannot come from the projections of others. It is self validation based on personal goals and achievements that we alone recognize as such. We choose to self validate or to continually push for outside approval.