Making Christ-Centered goals

When we think of New Years resolutions we might be tempted to say, “I hate my life and I want to fix this or fix that.”

God doesn’t “fix” things, he creates things (note the difference). Jacob 4:9 says, “The earth was created by the power of His (God’s) word.”

Following Christ’s example then - setting goals is an act of creation by the power of our word.

Nephi and his brothers were told to get the plates of Laban. Laman and Lemuel complained and resisted. Nephi was able to accept it and act in faith.

Likewise, our goals must not be worded as complaints. In addition, our attitude should be based on faith in the future not resistance to the present or past. If, like Nephi we accept the state of things as they are now and act in faith, we will succeed in creating a new reality… even if it will require a miracle.

Fighting Hopelessness

Some of us feel stuck. When we don’t see ourselves making progress we assume that we are stuck and this sometimes leads to a feeling of hopelessness or depression. The scriptures say, “Having all these witnesses we obtain a hope,” that things will work out and “our faith becometh unshaken insomuch that we can command in the name of Jesus and the very trees obey us or the mountains or the waves of the sea. Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things.” (Jacob 4:6-7)

Read more here

Day 12: Good, Better or Best

This is Day 12 in a challenging new series of posts. Each post will focus on a way to increase spirituality, focus or efficiency in dealing with life. Each post will provide a speech or essay to read, a 5 question quiz and a personal challenge statement or goal. The hope is that through self-directed learning and some coaching from me, you will grow in refreshing new ways.

The fact that life has choices means there are more than a thousand ways to go about it. In giving us a world of choices God surely knows that some will be bad, some will be good, and some will be "best." His written law, the ten commandments, his beatitudes and other parables point the way to the choices that lead to the "best" outcomes. His prediction is that "few there be that find it (meaning the best path)." This speech encourages us to be strategic about our use of time and resources so that we are on the best path.

1. Read the Speech:

Speech

2. Take the Quiz

Quiz

3. Personal Challenge Statement: I will take responsibility for my past choices by making better choices today.

4. Goal: Make a plan to align your inner desires with your outward choices.

5. Dig Deeper: Best Family Councils
Do You See Small Enough?
Course Correction

image credit: flickr/Steven Guzzardi

Day 7: Opposition in All Things

This is Day 7 in a challenging new series of posts. Each post will focus on a way to increase spirituality, focus or efficiency in dealing with life. Each post will provide a speech or essay to read, a 5 question quiz and a personal challenge statement or goal. The hope is that through self-directed learning and some coaching from me, you will grow in refreshing new ways.

Life is a series of tests. Our response determines who we become and how our character develops. "Some of these tests are temptations to sin. Some are mortal challenges apart from personal sin. Some are very great. Some are minor. Some are continuous, and some are mere episodes. None of us is exempt. Opposition permits us to grow toward what our Heavenly Father would have us become." (Dallin H Oaks) We sometimes get discouraged by the nature of the opposition we face. It is easy to blame God for allowing our test to occur but it is better to take responsibility and rise to the challenge. To get a better idea of what exactly is opposition and why we face it...

1. Read the speech

Speech

2. Take the quiz

Quiz

3. Personal Challenge Statement: With God, I am stronger than all the forces that oppose me.

4. Goal: I will list five ways that I have overcome my opposition. I will also acknowledge at least one challenge that I am struggling to overcome.

5. Dig deeper into another blog post on this topic:

Why does God Allow Bad Things to Happen

Image Credit: Flickr/Alberto G

A Balanced, Righteous Life

This is Day 5 in a challenging new series of posts. Each post will focus on a way to increase spirituality, focus or efficiency in dealing with life. Each post will provide a speech or essay to read, a 5 question quiz and a personal challenge statement or goal. The hope is that through self-directed learning and some coaching from me, you will grow in refreshing new ways.

Life is a journey. I begin as a child and grow into adulthood. My identity is formed by my childhood experiences together with my emergence from youth into adulthood and the definitions that I accept about myself. My identity is strongest when it incorporates a knowledge of my divine worth. Next I must have a safe harbor so that the inevitable storms can't sink my ship. Today I want to discuss the idea of balance. No ship will stay afloat if it has too much weight on one side. Balance is an oft-debated topic and it would be difficult to summarize the theories out there. Today I will propose the ideas for staying balanced from the speech The Tradition of a Balanced, Righteous Life by L Tom Perry.

1. Read the Speech

Speech

2. Take the 5-question quiz

Quiz

3. Personal Challenge Statement: I can succeed in all aspects of life as I balance my efforts to feel, learn, do and share.

4. Goal: I will evaluate my life and focus on one way that I can be more balanced.

5. Dig Deeper into other blog posts on this topic:

Prioritize Spirituality

The Greatest Work

Spiritual Self Reliance

Day 2: Purpose in Life

This is Day 2 in a challenging new series of posts. Each post will focus on a way to increase spirituality, focus or efficiency in dealing with life. Each post will provide a speech or essay to read, a 5 question quiz and a personal challenge statement or goal. The hope is that through self-directed learning and some coaching from me, you will grow in refreshing new ways.

While the beginning of spirituality is in understanding one's true identity. The next crucial step is to know of a purpose to life and to believe it is greater than just survival of the fittest. God has shared with prophets the purpose of life. It is bigger than love, the greatest virtue. It spans an eternity of time and potential. God's purpose is to give humans immortality and eternal life.  He takes each little human heart and change it so that it has the capacity to love in God's way. Then he makes it unbreakable (immortality) and able to love for eternity.

1. Read the speech
Always in the Middle

2. Take the 5-question quiz
Quiz

3. Personal Challenge Statement
Think about what gives your life meaning. Try to encapsulate that idea in a personal mission statement.

4. Set a goal to do something related to your personal mission statement in the next week. I'd love to hear about your goal. Post your progress in the comments.

5. Dig deeper into other blog posts on this topic:
Why does God Allow Bad Things to Happen?

Choose to Be Happy

Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen?

God is aware of each one of us and the experiences we have here on Earth are timely in duration and intensity to be a perfect trial of our faith. “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Cor 10:13).

He has prepared this life to test us. “To be tested, we must have the agency to choose between alternatives. To provide alternatives on which to exercise our agency, we must have opposition.” (Dallin H Oaks) The ability to choose is held inviolate. God will not take away the ability to choose from anyone of us before our appointed hour to die. He does expect us to self govern and temporarily take away the agency of those who break the laws and contracts of our governments. The final judgement of what a just consequence should be he reserves for himself.

God gave his son to atone for our sins so that even the justice of God could be counteracted with mercy if we believe in Him and have faith in his son’s atoning power. In this way, he prepares “a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell” (2 Ne 9:10).

And so good and bad continue to coexist in this world. How does God react to this without intervening unjustly before the appointed time? Sometimes he eases the burdens of those who are suffering so that they can bear up under the conditions in which they find themselves. Sometimes he turns aside disasters (without stopping them) so that they do not affect the faithful as severely. Sometimes he blunts the effect of an evil act so that the lives of his children are spared when they might have been killed. Sometimes he lets us see evil to teach us what we do not ever want to repeat.

God’s assurance is that He will “consecrate [our] afflictions for [our] gain” (2 Nephi 2:2).

Source: 

Oaks, Dallin H. “Opposition In All Things.” Ensign. May 2016.

The Ideal Man

There is good and bad things about idealism. Good ideals capture our imagination. For example, everyone wants to go on vacation to a place that looks picture-perfect and so when people go on vacation, they only post their best pictures. Mommy bloggers have presented a picture-perfect image of crafty DIY motherhood. This has both entranced readers and disgusted them. Jesus said “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” (Matt 5:48) Some have discounted this as obviously impossible. I say that the Father is the ideal and we should strive for the ideal.

The bad about idealism is when it is used to hide from reality. People often hide by painting a picture of perfect bliss beneath which they live a dual life. Idealism can cause disenchantment. People often express disappointment with my church because the people don’t live up to the ideal that is preached from the pulpit. Every girl who has wanted to marry a “prince charming” has had to face the reality that men are imperfect and women aren’t princesses.

This post is about the ideal man. It is for those who want to live the ideal not for criticizing people who are less-than-perfect. Without ideals, we would never prioritize good, better and best. With ideals we put our effort towards tasks that match our priorities.

Choose to Be Happy

This life is full of choices. We may choose to be friendly or prickly. We may choose to work hard or to take it easy. We may choose to believe God or to believe the hypotheses of men.

Choices are the gateways to paths that lead us to different outcomes. People who say they have no choices have forgotten that choices made in the past have led to that outcome. People who feel discouraged by life have made choices that led to that discouragement. I know this may sound harsh. I have been discouraged myself and I really had to search for which choices I made that took me there.

The Holy Spirit of God

This post is about what the Holy Spirit feels like to me.  It is a description of my experience.  I hope to inspire you to study this topic and come to know what it feels like for yourself.

The Spirit Feels Like Joy

When I make a decision and it happens to be the right one, the Holy Spirit sometimes feels my heart with joy.  When I’m about to make the wrong decision, the Holy Spirit sometimes puts a sinking feeling in my heart or an unexplainable anxiety.

The Spirit Feels Like Love

When I serve someone with no thought of reward, sometimes the Holy Spirit fills my heart with God’s love.  Once I taught a Sunday school lesson to teens and at the end I told each student I loved them as they went out the door.  That day I felt more love for them because I extended myself beyond my comfort zone and said that particular phrase.

The Spirit Feels Like Peace

In sacred places, the Holy Spirit’s presence is peaceful.  I also feel peace when the Spirit is telling me “good job.”

The Spirit Fills My Heart with Patience

Sometimes I want things done quickly.  I’m a fast mover.  I fret about things when the process takes longer than I would like.  As I step back and exercise faith in God’s timing, the Holy Spirit gives me a patience that doesn’t come naturally to me.

The Spirit Interacts More With Me When I am Meek

The ability to listen, accept guidance, let go of expectations, change — all these things work well when looking for and feeling the Spirit.  I feel the Spirit more when I’m not certain and I’m looking for direction.

The Spirit Feels Gentle

When the Spirit corrects me, I feel He is gentle — unless I’ve already made my choice and it’s the wrong one.  Unlike humans, the Spirit is not loud, critical, angry, insulting or harsh.  The Spirit  helps me to see where I have made a mistake while I still have a chance to fix it.  His corrections are often barely perceptible but if I listen I can change course easily.

The Spirit Feels like faith

When I have a sense that the Holy Spirit is with me, I am filled with faith.  Doubt doesn’t come from the Spirit.  Sometimes I take a small step in the wrong direction.  I feel it.  I try not to take big steps without some kind of confirmation.

The Spirit Gives Me Hope

When a trial is going on and the end is not in sight, sometimes the Spirit gives me hope to hang in there.  Sometimes I sense that the Spirit sent a person who has hope to stand beside me.

The Spirit Feels Like Power and Authority

Strong impressions from the Holy Spirit are rare, but when they include a confrontation with evil they feel powerful.

The Spirit Feels Like the Rushing of Mighty Waters

Once I had a spiritual experience while reading Psalms 18 that I attribute to the Holy Spirit.  It felt like an overflowing rush of water as in a waterfall.

The Spirit Manifests like an Idea in a Dark Room

Situations can get particularly troubling and when I ask the Lord for help, sometimes he responds by giving me a new idea that I’ve never had before.  I believe that the Lord speaks to my mind through the medium of the Holy Spirit.

The Spirit Feels Like Growth

The way a seed swells before it grows is similar to how my heart feels when I feel the Spirit.  One time the seed of “Abiding in the Lord” was planted in my heart.  I didn’t understand it at the time.  Later it began to grow and I felt the truth of the idea.  I think the sense that something is true and that I am growing in my understanding of it comes from the Holy Spirit.

The Spirit Sometimes Presses

When the Holy Spirit wants me to do something that I wasn’t planning on doing, I sometimes feel a sense of pressing from a thought or feeling.  Once I kept getting an old widow’s name in my head.  I decided to stop in and see her.  When I got there, she was grateful because she had asked the Lord to send me.

The Spirit Constrains

This is like being pressed above but it is the sense of the word “no” in my head.  I find that these kinds of impressions are usually urgent.  While this type of impression is maybe the easiest to discern, it isn’t the most common.  The Lord expects us to make choices based on our knowledge and understanding without always giving us specific instructions like “no.”  

The Spirit Brings Things Back into Our Memory

This works very well for students who study and prepare for tests on Monday but don’t study on the Sabbath Day.  I’ve also had this happen while studying the scriptures.  The Holy Spirit will use a verse to bring to mind another verse and if I follow the impression I often get a train of new ideas.

The Spirit Teaches

Once I made a choice to sacrifice some of my personal time to go and help to janitorial duties at the church building.  The Spirit rewarded me by teaching me something new on a subject I was pondering.

The Spirit Edifies Gospel Instruction

During a Sunday school lesson I sometimes learn something altogether startling while teaching what I have prepared.  The students are also eligible to receive spiritual insights while being taught if they are aware and open to it.

The Spirit Guides

Sometimes I receive a prompting which leads me to make a discovery and maybe find more along the same line.  This is more subtle than an experience where the Spirit teaches me something directly.

“For the Holy Ghost to be fully operating” in our lives, Ezra T. Benson said, “we must keep our channels clear of sin.” 

He warned, “If our channels are  not clear of sin, then we may think we have received inspiration on a matter when it is really promptings from the devil.”

  Source

Verses for Further Study:

Romans 15:13, Galatians 5:22–23, 1 Corinthians 2:9–11, John 14:26, John 14:27, John 16:13, Luke 12:11–12, John 16:8, John 15:26, Exodus 31:3–5, D&C 50:13–22, John 14:26

Image source: Flickr/ Hickory Hardscrabble

The Body of Christ Analogy

Paul devotes more than one epistle to the idea of the church as the “body of Christ”. He teaches, “There is one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all.”  Eph 4:5-6  Each person becomes a “member” of the body at baptism.  “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many are one body: so also is Christ.  For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jew or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free.” 1 Cor 12:12-13  

The “body of Christ” has a purpose.  It organizes or “equips the saints for the work of the ministry.”  Within the work of ministering, each member has a calling.  This calling could be notable like apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher many of whom travel around giving guidance. Eph 4:11  Or it could be seemingly insignificant like deacons and teachers who “should be appointed to watch over the church to be standing ministers unto the church.”  D&C 84:111 No assignment is too small to be noticed and more than once Paul questions whether the body can really function if every member does the same job.  1 Cor 12:16-17

When all the members contribute by doing their part in the Church, everyone is “edified together.” D&C 84:110  The saints receive instruction in the “knowledge of the Son of God” Eph 4:13, comfort (when “one member suffer[s] all the members suffer with it - 1 Cor 12:26), and protection Eph 4:15.

“And if any man among you be strong in the Spirit, let him take with him, him that is weak, that he may be edified in all meekness, that he may become strong also.”  D&C 84:106

Defiance not Fear Part II

This post continues on the ideas presented in Part I

Monica Lewinsky

Recently Monica Lewinsky spoke about her experience with public humiliation at TED.  She messed up when, at age 22, she "fell in love with my boss."  The consequence was a traumatic loss of identity.  

In speaking out, she is now changing from weak to strong.  She says, its "Time to stop tiptoeing around my past … Time to take back my narrative."  (Source)  She is standing in honesty and that is a strong position.  But she is nervous about what the media will do with her next.  Her goal is to give hope to others that suffer from cyber-bullying by showing that she survived. 

What she is not doing is accepting responsibility for allowing a sexual relationship with a married man.  I don't think her stance is strong enough to repair her public reputation but it might work for private relationships.  

Standing in virtue is stronger than standing in honesty.  Monica is going to have a hard time proving her righteousness to the media.  In less public cases, a person can change and their friends and acquaintances see evidence of the change.  After the change, defiance of evil will not be regarded with skepticism.

What I'm getting at is that when a person takes a stand on an issue -- any issue, the casual observer must make a call.  Is this person credible?  After the person is evaluated, the observer takes a look at the issue.  Does this issue as presented have merit and deserve my public support?

You will never see a person take a stand in favor of an issue they have a problem with and for which their credibility will be questioned.  They may stand against the issue or even publicly ridicule those who do stand in favor.  The strength to stand is based on the foundation of truth you rest on.

The Eternal Perspective

Our Heavenly Father looks at things differently than we do.  He sees Monica's heart in three dimensional beauty.  He knows exactly where she is at in her walk to a holy place of strength and radiance. He doesn't need her to state that or prove it.  

He is truly empathetic.  Christ suffered public humiliation among friends and neighbors as well as at his trial.  He knows what it feels like to be regarded with skepticism.  He never condemned the sinner but encouraged them to change and "sin no more."  

He sees her overcoming her fear and speaking to her accusers (the public).  He knows how difficult that is.  We all do and we can all admire her courage.

Growing Stronger

Daring greatly is about owning the story and changing the ending.  In Brown's book, Daring Greatly, she says, "The space between our practiced values and our aspirational values is the value gap." The  path to strength takes us across this value gap.  

As we make our move, it is important to surround ourselves with people who are empathetic and encouraging.  The journey takes time.  It requires envisioning the future many times and committing to get there no matter what it takes.  I admire those who take the first step and the second step and persist even when the opposition mounts. 

"If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you:  I came to live out loud"  - Emile Zola

When Living Out Loud Requires Grace 

It is through grace that the Lord gives strength and assistance to those of us who would not otherwise be able maintain momentum if left to ourselves.

What I see is that staying the "victim" makes us relinquish our gifts and the good we can do with them in the world.  As Shakespeare so aptly put it, "Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." Let's move past the past.

My biggest fear was to say the truth about a personal issue.  Once I said it, the door opened for me to live out loud.  I wouldn't say that I immediately flew free.  My experience showed me how my fear is debilitating.  The truth frees me.  The only thing stopping me from growth continues to be fear.  It takes courage to be honest and to face the consequences.  I know that grace multiplies my efforts to do the right thing.

This verse says, "Kick out the old man!"

"put off...the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." (Eph 4:22-24)

And here's a video challenge focusing on fear -- of getting dirty.

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST TRY:  Fighting Valiantly 

Be Free!

Depression is the surest sign that you are stuck.  Growth is not happening.  I've been there and it feels so impossible -- like trying to push an elephant uphill.

The weeds of evil seem impossible to remove when they've been growing for a long time.  Until we acknowledge evil and face it head-on, there is no chance to fly away.  The truth is, we want to blame someone else for the losses incurred by stuckness.  And someone else may have locked us in a cage.  However, the answer doesn't lie in blame.  If it did, we'd be waiting endlessly for the person who locked us up to come along with the key.

God gave each of us "wings."  They are the ability we have to choose.  No one can take away our ability to choose.  They may try to convince us that we have no choice.  We may believe them for a time.  The truth is that we choose to believe them and we choose to stay in the cage.

How is this possible?

The cages we're in have to be identified.  That is why we can't just fly away.  Introspection may help us to identify our condition.  But just as quick as we know the lie that the cage represents and replace it with the truth, we are free.

That is the power in Jesus' words, "I am the truth" and "The truth shall make you free."

That all sounds so simple. So lets have ourselves a real life example.

CS Lewis had a number of tragedies early in life that put a literal cage around him.  His mother died when he was ten.  He was immediately shipped off to a horrible boarding school, Wynyard, where he witnessed repeated physical child abuse.  The images of abuse tortured him. But what is worse, these images got twisted into his emerging sexuality.  They stimulated a sexual response that trapped him in an imaginary world.  Other situational events put pressure on him to choose evil which he resisted as best he could.

Through a process of writing a mythological tale called Dymer, Lewis was able to discover that he had created the monster in his mind through some of his choices.  (I would argue that he was also given a monster at Wynyard).  He faced the monster and "killed" it.  The result was that he was able to begin resolving his issues of faith and gradually he came to accept Christianity.  (Source:  Jack by George Sayer)

Some of the cages I've identified are emotions.  Some are false "I am" statements.  Some are based on false assumptions we make about ourselves that protect another person.  Some are taught to us by someone we respect.

Vincent Van Gogh said: "In the springtime a bird in a cage knows very well that there’s something he’d be good for; he feels very clearly that there’s something to be done but he can’t do it; what it is he can’t clearly remember,and he has vague ideas and says to himself, “the others are building their nests and making their little ones and raising the brood,” and he bangs his head against the bars of his cage. And then the cage stays there and the bird is mad with suffering. “Look, there’s an idler,” says another passing bird — that fellow’s a sort of man of leisure. And yet the prisoner lives and doesn’t die; nothing of what’s going on within shows outside, he’s in good health, he’s rather cheerful in the sunshine. But then comes the season of migration. A bout of melancholy — but, say the children who look after him, he’s got everything that he needs in his cage, after all — but he looks at the sky outside, heavy with storm clouds, and within himself feels a rebellion against fate. I’m in a cage, I’m in a cage, and so I lack for nothing, you fools! Me, I have everything I need! Ah, for pity’s sake, freedom, to be a bird like other birds!

An idle man like that resembles an idle bird like that.…You may not always be able to say what it is that confines, that immures, that seems to bury, and yet you feel [the] bars."  Source

One key to unlocking the cage and being free is in the truth.  So if I assumed I am ugly, the key is in seeing the truth about my intrinsic beauty.  If I assumed that I can't do it, then I need to be brave and try to do the thing I fear.  I can be free and being free is worth it.  I've made a short video about this.
------->>

Jesus offers us hope when he says, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)  He is stronger than all the evils of mortality.  His way will take us through this world and into a better one.  I'm sure of this.

Another key unlocking the cage is forgiveness.  Forgiveness releases blame and anger and allows you to move on to other life experiences.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” 

– Lewis Smedes

A third key that might be helpful is finding a reason to leave the cage.  Mission is the God-given assignment to act on the gifts God has given us.  It is a reason for living.   I've written about mission here.

Jesus offers us hope when he says, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)  He is stronger than all the evils of mortality.  His way will take us through this world and into a better one.  I'm sure of this.

If you liked this post you might like Beaty of Holiness

Birdcage image courtesy Frank Serritelli/Flickr