The Wise Shall Shine

In this post:  The resurrection, Ten Virgins, and baby stars

The Kingdom of God will be inhabited by people whose souls shine like the sun.  (Matt 13:43)  Light is often associated with good and dark with evil.  Is this just poetic or will people really shine?

An angel speaking to Daniel in the Old Testament said, “And many of them that sleep in the dust of the Earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.  And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.”  (Dan 12:2-3)  I’m fascinated by the angel’s description of the next life.  A person who is sleeping in the dust of the Earth is dead.  When they awake, they are resurrected to a new life or to an everlasting contempt.  (Contempt is such a loaded word)  

Jesus used similar language when he said, “all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation.” (John 5:29)

I looked around and found another verse that puts the state of the wicked in another way.  This one is in Luke 13:28, “There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out.”  I know the bitter disappointment of being rejected.  This verse seems to describe hell as state of being left out.  What I read into it, which maybe is only implied, is that the people thrust out are surprised by the outcome.

In another story, the one with the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-12) there are only five that hold their lamps with oil and all are surprised by the bridegroom.  There are five virgins that haven’t noticed that their lights are gone out.  The verse in Daniel uses the word “wise” which is what made me think of the virgins.  Are they holding their souls (little lights) in their hands?  And when they enter the kingdom of God, is it their souls that shine?

Image used with permission

Paul speaks of turning souls to the light in Acts 26:18.  “To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God that they may receive forgiveness of sins and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.”  He is preparing for the kingdom of God when he talks about the “inheritance.”  Paul hopes to turn souls but really we have to turn ourselves.

I guess I like to think of my soul as a light.  I hope it shines.  I think it probably flickers.  On good days my eyes sparkle and on bad days, they are dull and lifeless.  I hope to be like the wise virgins whose lamps have oil.  I never thought of those lamps as “baby stars.”  Maybe they are going to shine forever.  Pretty thought.

I’ve got a new video that goes into depth on John 5.  You can watch it here.

On Real Motherhood

In this post:  the dance of motherhood and being good enough 

“Being a mother is like trying to hold a wolf by the ears,” Gram said. “If you have three or four –or more – chickabiddies, you’re dancing on a hot griddle all the time.” (Sharon Creech, Walk Two Moons)  I think that holding the wolf took all my attention at first.  I know I was directionless for the first years of motherhood.  Keeping the chickies fed, diapered and bathed was a colossal task.  

My first two kids were easy babies.  They didn’t throw tantrums, they slept at night, yet I struggled to keep up with them.  I did my best, but I was still stressed by the little things — toilet training, spilled milk, muddy shoes.  The first years were painful, because I was growing my mommy wings. 

And then after four kids, I started to relax.  The tasks shifted from exceptional to ordinary.  I began to hold the wolf and dance a little.  I stopped worrying so much.  I grew into, “a mother who doesn't worry so much about being bad or good but just recognizes that she's both, and neither. A mother who does her best, and for whom that is good enough, even if, in the end, her best turns out to be, simply, not bad.” (Ayelet Waldman)  I am certain that even what I do poorly is good enough.  I’ve seen my children be kind, thoughtful and polite.  I’ve seen them do better at things than I expected because I know what I didn’t teach them.  And each year I add a few steps to my dance.  I make a new goal, I add a new project, I reach a little higher.  And the more I reach, the less I do, which doesn’t make sense.  Here’s how Julie B Beck puts it.  

“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all.”  

Some people call me patient.  It’s not patience…it’s just that the little stuff doesn’t stress me out anymore.  Spilled milk?  wipe it.  Poopy underwear?  start a batch of laundry.  Muddy shoes?  mop.  I still get stressed but it is less frequently caused by kids.  Now I’m stressed because I spend so much time on others that there isn’t much “me" time.  I’m getting better at taking time for “me” and letting other stuff slide.

I get tired.  I often don’t have the emotional capital to keep investing in my children all the way to bedtime.  It's a tricky dance that changes as they get older.  I try to be a good dancer but it turns out more like ‘not bad.’ 

Being pregnant changes everything.  When I’m pregnant I slow way down, eat more, sleep more and waddle more.  I have learned to simplify down to the bare essentials.  Usually, by the end, every normal routine has come to a complete standstill.  I’ve learned to accept this as normal, allow it and resume life when I feel ready.  

The shortest perspective you can have is the close-up view of life as the minutes tick by.  The longest perspective you can have includes eternity.  It’s all about perspective.  The longer your perspective, the easier trials become.  As you look at your situation, think about creating the life you want.  Dream big.  What does it look like and feel like.  Break down your dreams into small incremental steps from 10 years to 5 years to 1 year to 6 months to this month.  This process helps make this month part of a bigger whole and this minute a vital part of your wildest dreams.

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Why Asking is Healthy

In this post:  Healthy responses to a need, squatting in neediness, anxiety builds up, trusting God

My 6 year old daughter started to cry this morning.  
“Mom,” she said, “I couldn’t do my job yesterday because I don’t know how.”  
“What is your job?” I said.  
“Sweeping the kitchen.”  
“Sweeping the kitchen is fun because…uh…you get to sing while you do it.  Let me show you.”

She learned to sweep today and she taught me something.  If she had asked for help yesterday, she wouldn’t have felt sad enough to cry today.

Asking is a healthy response to a need or want.  Murmuring is a toxic response to a need or want.  

The Children of Israel were expert murmurers. “And the children of Israel spake unto Moses, saying, Behold, we die, we perish, we all perish.” (Num 17:12)  They were squatting in a state of neediness instead of building the reality they needed or wanted.

Nephi, a Book of Mormon prophet, showed us a healthy response to unmet needs.  “Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.” (1 Ne 18:16)  He both looked to God and expressed gratitude.

Sometimes we need peace and it is the one thing we don’t have in life.  If we ask God for peace in a specific form and He offers us peace in another form, we still don’t have what we want —but we have what we need for now.  If we don’t ask, the resentment or anxiety builds up.  We cry.  Maybe we don’t cry today or tomorrow.  Maybe we hold it in, but eventually the stress comes out of our mouth.  How often does it come out in a complaint?

Murmurers are people who don’t ask, they complain.  

Asking the right question can be as important as asking.  There are children who rigidly ask for one thing over and over whether or not it’s good for them.  Like candy.  If I gave my kids candy every time they asked for food, they would not be healthy.  I offer them food in another form.

In the book of James it says, “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”  (James 4:3)  Surely God knows when his children ask for things that would not be healthy for them.  He would not be God if he unwisely gave us everything we asked for.  We have to trust him.  As we ask, we don’t squat in neediness, but we look for ways to build the reality we need.  God often guides us to build rather than coming down and building for us.

Beaver courtesy Papapishu

There’s a great little story to illustrate asking the right question in the book, The Phantom Tollbooth.
“‘Why did you know that if a beaver two feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam twelve feet high and six feet wide in two days, all you would need to build a Boulder Dam is a beaver sixty-eight feet long with a fifty-one-foot tail?’
“‘Where would you find a beaver that big?’ grumbled the Humbug as his pencil point snapped.  
“‘I’m sure I don’t know.’ he replied, ‘but if you did, you’d certainly know what to do with him.
“‘That’s absurd,’ objected Milo, whose head was spinning from all the numbers and questions.
“‘That may be true,’ he acknowledged, ‘but it’s completely accurate, and as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?  If you want sense, you’ll have to make it yourself.’” (Phantom Tollbooth p. 175)

If the question is wrong, it doesn’t matter if we have the right answer.  But even the wrong question is better than no question.  By asking, we are starting to use our brains.  We are starting to think.  Creativity gets going and we find we have multiple possibilities each of which might work.  

Some questions won’t get resolved in this life.  Many people have a list of questions to ask God when they get back home.  Even without “the answer” God can give us peace in another form and we can practice trusting him.  Our ability to trust him makes it possible for him to guide us to the right question.

Challenge:  Today stop and listen to a complaint and turn it into the right question.