Thursday, July 10, 2014

Mending a Rift with God

“That there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement.” - 1 Cor 1:10

Spirituality is sometimes stifled because the connection we feel with God is weak or nonexistent.  The connection with God is an important aspect of vibrant spirituality.  I have experienced this distant or nonexistent connection so I know what it feels like to know God is not near. 

First lets talk about mending rifts with people and then we’ll see what is necessary to mend a rift with God.  A rift is a “tear” in a relationship that strains it.  Rifts are a natural part of growth and change.  Fixing rifts is essential to maintaining healthy relationships. The following components are required to be successful at fixing rifts.

  1. Value the relationship - This is about intent.  There are lots of pretty words out there but actions show where true intentions lie.  In mending rifts, I have found that intent undermines success if it isn’t aligned with our words.
  2. Honesty - Rifts occur when I do something that damages the relationship and then continue on without honestly communicating about the damage.
  3. Personal Responsibility - This is about not taking all the blame and also about not blaming someone else for the entire problem.  It is knowing what the consequences were to my actions.
  4. Pulling together - This is about both people in a relationship pulling.  It would be nice if someone else would do the work of maintaining the relationship through building and repairing but if I’m in the relationship than it’s my relationship and I’m responsible to maintain it.
  5. Dialogue - If you are unwilling to budge then the goal is to move from gridlock to dialogue.  Dialogue works when we are calmly interacting with another person in a way that is looking for solutions or possible compromise.
Embroidery courtesy Janet Haigh

“for thou hast shown more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning.” - Ruth 3:10


In working on a relationship with God, I have to want the relationship more than I want other things.  This requires self-control to slow down my day enough to spend time in quiet reflection and prayer.  I have to be honest about how I have contributed to the poor connection I feel with God and set boundaries for myself so that I don’t keep undermining my spirituality.  I have to show up and be real in my prayers.  I have to pull myself closer to God.  He never moves.  He is constant.  I’m the one who is distant and I have to maintain the relationship by mending the tears.  I can dialogue with God in many ways as I continually look for solutions or possible compromises.

I have stories and examples but I’m cutting to the chase to make this post efficient and to the point.  I hope you’ll forgive me for writing without the fluff especially those that really appreciate learning from stories.

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