Wednesday, July 6, 2016

On the Path to Emotional Freedom

The longer I live, the more I realize that the reality of who I am is much less than who I could be.  I have quirks, hang-ups, idiosyncrasies and neuroses that prevent me from being true to the ideal that Jesus inspires. In Romans it says “For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.”  

The death of God’s son guarantees that I will return to God’s presence.  I can accept the reality of myself including my weaknesses and show up at his gate with all of them in tow — or I can be “saved by his life.”  By that phrase I mean, that if I implement the pattern of his life into my own life, I will be empowered to rise above the craziness and the dross of my neuroses will be burned away through the fire of repentance.

My last post about breaking bonds focused on the service and fellowship that is required to be freed from some of those bonds. In addition to that, I must study and gain knowledge.  The first kind of knowledge is self-awareness.  I have to become aware of my hang-ups if I am to choose the path that leads to another reality. 

I have spent a good part of my life trying to achieve emotional freedom.  This post will point you to resources that I have used and some that I hope to dig into in the future.  The emphasis on this is that studying a problem is essential to solving it.  In spiritual things, we sometimes mistakenly think that God will answer our prayers just because it says in the Bible that he will. In D&C 9:7 it says, “Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.”  The thinking that goes beyond asking is the knowledge that we must gain.  God can give us knowledge but he knows how much we benefit when we work to understand a subject. He has our best interest at heart when he doesn’t just hand us the answer. I encourage you to pray, study, and dig deeper with faith and not give up. You can be free.

Principles on the Path to Freedom
  1. Gain physical strength for the journey by taking nutritional supplements to support my pancreas and immune system. (Book: Food is Your Best Medicine by Henry Bieler)
  2. Utilize the services of a BodyTalk professional healer.
  3. Read Books (See list below)
  4. Go on a Vision Quest (book: Grandfather by Tom Brown Jr)
  5. Journal in a place where all emotional tension can be explored without fear as it arises: Stop running from pain
  6. Draw with the left hand in a sketchbook (book: Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self)
  7. Write goals for 10 years, 5 years and 1 year (describe in the present tense as if they are already a reality)
  8. Build self esteem by exploring personal strengths, accomplishments, values, describe self
  9. Ask for insight from God for understanding problems and finding solutions, put faith in His all-seeing eye
  10. Rely on Jesus Christ’s atonement to repent of false beliefs, misdeeds, and to forgive others
The Steps to Healing 
  1. Recognition and realization
  2. Remove myself from situations that hurt and don’t take personally the other person’s disorder / no blame
  3. Moving forward, not sitting back and accepting the way things are
  4. Think about boundaries (what are my needs and rights?)
  5. Processing emotions through verbalizing, drawing, journaling - being honest
  6. Organize and make sense of my trauma/trials
  7. Open up to learning and the work that leads to growth
  8. Unconditionally love myself (self esteem)
  9. Being in the present and creating a new future (goal setting with near term benchmarks)
  10. Realizing the importance of support (counseling, friends, relatives)
  11. Regaining control of my emotional stability, thoughts, actions
  12. Centering the responsibility within myself for my actions and emotions
Reading List

Happiness Books
The Bible, Psalm 23
The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor
Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson
The Heart’s Key to Health, Happiness, and Success by Steven H Horne
*Living Beautifully: With Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chodron
Seasons of a Woman’s Life by Daniel J Levinson (He also wrote Seasons of a Man’s Life)
Love 2.0 by Barbara L Fredrickson
*Authentic Happiness by Martin E P Seligman

What is the Happiness Advantage?

Love / Marriage Books
The Road Less Traveled by Scott M Peck
Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson
And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura M Brotherson (religious)
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M Gottman
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Love and War by John Eldredge
Hiding From Love by John Townsend
The Hedgehog and the Fox by Isaiah Berlin

On Transformation
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
The 8th Habit by Stephen R Covey
The Jackrabbit Factor by Leslie Householder
(On the Law of the Wall) Student Whisperer by Oliver DeMille and Tiffany Earl
*The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo
*The Inside-Out Revolution By Michael Neill
*Willpower by Roy F Baumeister
*Focal Point by Brian Tracy

On Being Honest
Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

Debbie Ford: Light Up Your Life from Within

On Abandonment, Idolizing, Abuse, Grief, Attachment
The Journey from Heartbreak to Connection
Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst
Adult Attachment and Couple Psychotherapy:  The ‘secure base’ in Practice and Research by Christopher Clulow
*Healing the Tiger By Peter Levine

On Being Yourself and Rejection of Self
Appelemando’s Dream by Patricia Polacco
*Marianne Williamson on Self-Esteem by Marianne Williamson
*Within: A Spiritual Awakening to Love & Weight Loss by Habib Sadeghi
The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle
Being Enough By Chieko Okasaki (religious)

Chieko Okazaki speech "Rowing Your Boat"
On Anger
Good and Angry by Joanne Miller
*The Surprising Purpose of Anger by Marshall B Rosenberg

On Mother Wounds
Mothering Ourselves by Evelyn S Bassoff
Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina W Brown
Emotionally Absent Mother by Jasmin Lee Cori
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John M Gottman
*The Mom Factor by Henry Cloud
On Healing Emotional Wounds
Growing Beyond Emotional Pain by John D Preston
(Especially Negativity)  Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff

Dr Judith Orloff 1 of 6 videos

Treating Intimacy Issues of Traumatized People by Patricia L Sheehan (Source: my personal files)

* indicates that I have not yet read this book

All images used with permission

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